No Longer Lonely
by Starzlitex
Summary: [slash] a series of drabbles of the Atoji flavor, and sprinkles of Dirty Pair and Silver Pair.


disclaimer: I don't own tennis no oujisama... or else the Hyoutei tennis regulars would be the main characters.  
notes: Tennis no Oujisama fanfiction, contains mild slash, of atobexjirou, oshitarixgakuto and ohtorixshishido.

**.one; apathy**  
my name isn't important, because I'm no one important. The world doesn't know me, the world doesn't need to know me. I sleep my life away most of the time, because there's nothing important enough to attract my attention. My family thought it was odd, but they didn't really care. My elder brother was the one inheriting the family business, as long as he was fine, nothing else really mattered. My younger sister was their angel, the one who sang and danced and laughed and _lived_. And I, I didn't matter; I wasn't important enough. Nothing interest me; not school, not people, not anything. Until you entered the picture, and I learned what tennis was.  
**  
.two; brilliance**  
you were always full of confidence, always knowing that _you_ were right, ignoring what others thought of you, because they simply do not matter. People flocked to your side, willingly following your every word, attracted by the charisma you exuded. I think I noticed you then; in the hazy foggy world that I lived in, you were the sun that melted nightmares away. But even though we were in the same class for years and tennis club, I doubt you even knew my name, let alone _know_ me. No one knew me anyway; not even Gakuto who grew up with me. He hates your flashiness by the way.

**.three; chance**  
tennis came easily to me, without putting in much effort, I could beat the others, and it bored me. I slept more frequently, living in fragments of dreams, rather then reality. For some reason, I was awake that day, the day that you displayed your tennis skills. I wanted to play against you then, for once, wanting to get serious. I received that chance.

Kantoku made you play; it was evident from your expression that you read me, and found me lacking. I fought the urge to grin; instead, I rubbed at my eyes sleepily, yawning uninterestedly. I wouldn't want to play seriously against someone who thought me beneath him. You intended it to be a short match, giving everything that you got all at once. Why bother playing a first year, when you could be defeating the second years? I fought back, and it caught your attention. I lost the match, 6-7, but won something else in the end. A sort of vague interest, from you.

**.four; disjointed**  
Life was disjointed; sleep, dream, eat, sleep, tennis, sleep, dream. Somehow, along the way, Gakuto met Oshitari, and left me behind. He always preferred talking to someone who would actually reply back. It didn't matter anyway, I was busy living in dreams. Then you went and destroyed the serenity with your self-confident ways. I don't know whether you noticed it or not, but I wasn't always asleep, especially when you sat by me and reflected.

**.five; expectations**  
people looked up to you, they respected you, believing that the facade you wore was real. They expected great things from you, no, they demanded them. You were supposed to be the epitome of perfection, and was never allowed to fall from your pedestal. You showed me your other side though, because you knew that I would never demand anything. I stayed awake for you, casting aside petty dreams, because I wanted to know you. That was all I needed from you.

**.six; friends**  
surrounded by people in and all, but they were probably the closest to you; Oshitari and Shishido and Kabaji. I didn't know where I was supposed to stand, probably somewhere beneath them, probably as some sort of a pet. I wasn't important enough to be anything more then that; a listening ear, a life sized puppy, a convenient message board for some, an annoyance by others. Really, what was I to you?

**.seven; growing up**  
we moved up the ranks so quickly, eliminating the regulars and taking away their positions. By our third year, we were already established. You were the Captain, the sun that led us. Kabaji was the ever faithful follower, standing by your side, acting as your right hand. Hiyoshi who tried his best chasing after your shadow. Oshitari and Gakuto were a strong pair, unique to the team in their own ways. Shishido, whose voice's lost that rough edge whenever Ohtori's around. And where did I stand, except on my own? Is loneliness a part of growing up? I don't think I want to grow up.

**.eight; Hyoutei**  
a school for the rich and the richer, where the students didn't have such trivial things like friends. No, they had allies, and I merely watched from the sidelines. Who would be interested in a sleeping person? Except you maybe, but that's because you were different from them. Because there wasn't really anything that you needed. Especially not from me.

**.nine; Icarus**  
the boy who flew too close to the sun, he died in the end, you know. It took me a while to realize it, but I am completely in love with you, in love with the sun; it'll bring me my death, but I think dying is worth if I get to feel the warmth that you have. I confessed that day. What was there to be afraid of? Rejection could be easily handled by escaping into dreams that brought relief, and a broken heart could be ignored through sleep.

**.ten; juxtapose**  
"What took you so long to tell me that?" you asked, dark eyes softening slightly as you looked at me. I blinked dumbly, not knowing what to say. I expected harsh words, impatient rejection, disgust, avoidance or something, but not this. Of course, you never do what others predict, solely because you're Atobe Keigo. You laughed when I told you about the Icarus myth. Brilliant in Greek, you had already read this story. "How can I be the sun, when you're the sunlight already?" you quirk a smile, an actual one, not a smirk. I grinned before falling asleep in your lap.

We're as different as day and night, but it all doesn't matter, because you're Atobe Keigo. And you're _mine_.

**.eleven; Keigo**  
I've never really addressed you by your given name, even though I know you wouldn't mind it, since you've been calling me by my given name since forever. Well, at least everyone does it. Akutagawa's such a mouthful to call, especially when I'm prone to falling asleep in less then 5 seconds.

We were probably the last to leave the tennis clubhouse. Me slumbering peacefully on the couch, while you have to deal with whatever it is that tennis buchous have to deal with. Oshitari and Gakuto had left as soon as practice was over, claiming that they needed practice for _other_ aspects. Ohtori helped with the clearing up, which caused Shishido to follow suit, since they usually went home together. Kabaji, for once, had to leave early, without waiting for you, due to some family issue. How did I know all this? Well, I wasn't as asleep as everyone though I was.

"Oi, Jirou, it's time to go," you shake me gently, one hand running through my mop of curls. I snuggled deeper into the warmth of the couch.

"Mhmm, five minutes more, please, 'Tobe?" I whined, eyes half opened. You scowl, but I can tell it's not serious.

"Absolutely not. It's eight; the school's probably about to lock up. Ore-sama has no wish to be stuck in school," you answered firmly. "Besides, the limo's already waiting for us outside."

I groaned, blinking up at you, "Ne, carry me, Keigo?"

To those who don't know you, your expression of annoyance doesn't change, but I could see that you were shocked by my sudden intimacy. However, you didn't say anything, picking me up wordlessly, as I slipped into a slumber, listening to your heartbeat.

**.twelve; lonely**  
there are times when I feel lonely, even though I have you. But you're always so busy, tied down with responsibilities to your family, to the school, to the club. I keep quiet, and sleep even more. Loneliness is better then being cast aside by you. It's alright, I don't mind. It's the price I pay for wanting the sun. The sun that is needed by others. I guess I can just hang out with the other Regulars. Gakuto's always up for a meal, especially if it's free. Choutarou is easily persuaded to join me for a movie, and Shishido usually accompanies him when he's bored. I wish we could have time for such things.

**.thirteen; masks**  
Oshitari's really too observant for his own good. "Jirou, I know that you're not asleep, so stop pretending. I want to talk to you." He sat down beside me, saying all this in a neutral tone, which is similar to his bored tone. I think only Gakuto and I have noticed the slight difference in the tone's inflection.

I rolled over slowly, stretching lightly, "Hi, Oshitari. Was there something you wanted?" I asked brightly, not willing to drop the mask.

He sighed softly, "If you're mad at Atobe, show it to him, or else he won't ever know. He's dumb in that sense. Being busy is his life, he'd never really had time to relax. And he probably won't mind you scolding him."

I smiled at him, "I'm not the only one wearing a mask around here, am I, Yuushi? Thanks for the advice. Gakuto's heading our way, he looks jealous?"

"Aah, that's merely my plan. See you around, Jirou." he got up gracefully, attention now fixed on the redhead. I smiled.

**.fourteen; near**  
I took Oshitari's advice. Why not, he's a tensai and your close friend. As expected, you were in your unofficial office; the tennis clubhouse, shifting piles of papers for the Student Council.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked, biting my lip. Was it the right time to talk to you? Or would you just snap my head off with your sarcasm? You looked up briefly, and promptly dropped your pen, ready to listen to me.

I lost my nerve, "It's okay, you better finish your work first. You have a deadline coming up, right?"

You beckoned me closer, and as I stood before your throne, in a single fluid motion, I found myself sitting in your lap, as you picked up the pen again. "Go to sleep, Jirou." That was all you said, as you turned your concentration back to work.

I found that as long as you're near, I can't feel the loneliness.

* * *

did that make sense? Cos I wrote this spontaneously over different periods of three days.reviews make me pleased, so please me? 


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